In the age of algorithms, it’s possible that your next stage in life is being curated for you, before you even realise you’re there. Whether it’s Netflix recommending coming-of-age dramas to teens, TikTok serving ads for wrinkle cream to 30-somethings, or Instagram ramping up ‘retirement dream house’ trends to anyone north of 55 — the platforms shaping our digital lives are also subtly scripting our life stages. We have to stop to ask; are these narratives shaping us or merely reflecting us? Are algorithms ageing us faster than we’d like, or are they enforcing rigid ideals about who we should be and what we should want, at every life step?
Life in algorithmic boxes
Possibly the most common algorithms are engineered to predict what we’ll want next, but they’re also remarkably good at reinforcing societal narratives about who we’re supposed to be. When Netflix curates its ‘trending’ section, the algorithm is making an assumption about your life, and stage. For example, a teenager may see content like Sex Education or Stranger Things, whilst a new parent might get Motherhood or Fatherhood, and retirees, well, they are nudged toward heartwarming classics like Downton Abbey. This content isn’t neutral, it’s predictive and prescriptive.
It’s not just guessing what you’d enjoy, it’s reinforcing an identity you’re supposed to step into, consciously or not. Studies on the role of media consumption, like ‘Media consumption and identity formation’ (via Sage Journals) show that repeat exposure to specific narratives often solidifies not only our perceptions, but also behaviours. Algorithms guide our self-perception by showing us what others ‘like us’ are consuming. And whilst some of that guidance can be useful, it’s not without faults… and consequences.
The ‘instagramification’ of life stages
Take Instagram, a platform that’s turned life stages into aesthetic milestones: graduations, weddings, baby showers, the big 40, retirement parties… are all highly curated, performative versions of our lives that set a bar for what ‘success’ looks like, at any given age. Now throw in algorithmic amplification. If you’re 29, you’re bombarded with engagement rings, first-home sales or #mumlife hashtags. These curated snippets reinforce beliefs that you should be hitting these milestones, and if you’re not, you’re behind. Social psychologist Jean Twenge, in her book iGen, highlights how comparisons, particularly these types of milestones, cause heightened anxiety and dissatisfaction. So, are the algorithms matchmakers for social pressure showing us not what we need, but what we should have done by now?
Trends and narratives
Let’s move to TikTok, where content categories like #chronicallyonline or #boomerhumor shape generational divides. The platform thrives on segmenting users into niche communities, effectively creating echo chambers of generational stereotypes. This constant reinforcement can deepen age-related insecurities, or exaggerate intergenerational misunderstandings. Even gaming isn’t immune. Think the Roblox platform or the game Fortnite, which encourage youthful exuberance in players of all ages, but oftentimes alienate older players by heavily catering to Gen Z. Games temporarily erase age barriers, but their marketing often reinforces the notion that certain spaces ‘belong’ to specific age groups.
From consumption to internalisation
The deeper issue here isn’t just what content algorithms deliver, it’s how we internalise the narratives they propagate. When Netflix keeps suggesting parenting dramas, Instagram floods you with baby bump posts or TikTok overdoses you on millennial humour — it subtly convinces you that this is your lane. Social learning theory, a concept by Albert Bandura, explains how repeated exposure to certain behaviours and narratives can lead individuals to adopt them as their own. In the algorithmic, echo chamber age, we’re not just passive consumers of media, we’re losing critical thought and active participants in reinforcing these constructs — liking and sharing content that aligns with the life stage we believe we’re in (or should be in).
The consequences of a prepackaged life
When algorithms box us into predefined life stages, they rob us of the freedom to evolve organically. Take a look at The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy Paul. Want to take a gap year at 40, or start gaming at 70? You might not get much algorithmic encouragement, and that lack of reinforcement can make you feel out of place in your own life. But here’s the kicker; algorithms don’t just shape individuals, they shape societies. They perpetuate rigid norms, making it harder for us to break free of stereotypes. Older generations are less likely to experiment with technology, because tech marketing rarely targets them, and younger generations may face undue pressure to achieve milestones on an accelerated timeline.
Reclaim your narrative
The good news? Awareness is the antidote to manipulation. Start by questioning the narratives you consume. Are they reflecting your true desires, or are they steering you toward societal expectations? Challenge the algorithms by seeking out content that breaks the mould. Platforms, too, need to evolve. Imagine a platform designed not to box you into a life stage, but to offer a plethora of possibilities. What if your Netflix homepage featured stories about 70-year-olds learning to surf? What if TikTok dismantled generational silos and political echo chambers by amplifying content that fosters understanding rather than division?
Final thoughts
Algorithms are powerful tools, but like any tool their impact depends on how we wield them. If we let them, they’ll not only age us, they’ll dictate the entire story of our lives. But by staying curious, breaking out of bubbles and embracing diverse narratives, we can control our journey, from cradle to retirement. Because life isn’t linear, it’s a patchwork, and the best stories are the ones that defy expectations, no matter what the algorithm says.
Featured image: Oberon Copeland / Unsplash